it always happens.

mann, so it seems like i have alot more on my mind than i thought?? hah.

why does this always happen to ME though? i find myself wanting something soo much and that something wanting me so i do the best i can to impress. its happened too many fucking times! im tired of going through shit thinking we’re going somewhere and yall drop me. wtf did i do besides that fact im trying to make you happy? it happened to the first female(which i was questionable about, but still went through it) and now AGAIN? im tired of it. im tired of investing my time and yall telling me about our future and saying how we’re going somewhere and when we’re at an important step, you drop me, kick me to the side, and get another nigga who you think can do better. i mean, i dont wanna be cocky, but what the hell can these niggas do that i cant?! i bet any of these niggas cant even remember that first day we talked, the first day something special happened, your fav flower, whats your fav snack or what your fav movies are! i bet these niggas want is the pussy. i told you that i wasnt in it for that, even though it seemed like i was a freak and i wanted it all the time or whatever, but i told you i was in it for a real relationship. I told the niggas about you, I told them you were the shit, I said how you were a down type. but in the end i guess I was the one who fucked up by saying that. with all the times i been dropped, i should have kept it on the DL. i hate being in the situation where you feel wanted, you know ytour wanted, the next day its like i was another fish in the sea whom you just passed. i hate being hurt like this… it may not seem like i hurt on the outside kuz i always seem to find something to smile about despite how many fucking problems i have. YOU were the only one that kept me happy when shit fell. when i fought, you kept me sane, when i was physically hurt, you were my tylenol. when she was in the hospital, YOU were the fucking shoulder i leaned on. im tired of fucking being dropped every damn time i feel like we got something! i have sooooooo much to say, but i dont even know how to say it… i guess the only thing to say is, bye…